Change of Plans

For the longest time I have had my heart set on graduation; however, as the end is quickly approaching, I have realized my fears are mcuh more prevalent. I am very worried for the unknown factor of this next chapter in my life. It is not as much of a scared or unprepared worried feeling, it is more of an excited and intrigued worried. I know ever since I decided where I wanted to go to school next year, I felt like I had outgrown Beulah and high school as a whole. I think I am trying to speed things up too fast. We only have so many days left in this school, it took me until just this morning to see how fast my life will change. This is all I have ever known in life. Living with my family, going to school and work, and enjoying time with friends around town; this is all going to change. Don't get me wrong, I still am quite thrilled to be moving on. It just dawned on me how soon this is all going to occur. My mother and I had a conversation this morning about career and college life and BAM! Just like that it hit me.
All my so called "future" plans, can change in a second! I recieved a letter in the mail today giving me more information on Geology. I thought I had my standards set to become a physical therapist, but geology could definately be a career for me as well. I love the hands on opportunity of the job and it is something I am going to ponder over the summer.
My whole point here is to not grow up too fast. I know we all get this same lecture over and over again throughout our lives, but please take the words of wisdom. Spend time being a teenager and a kid. We all are growing up soo fast. The rest of life is dedicated to working, so why over stress it now. I wish I could go back and take my own advice because I missed out on alot over these past years. I would work on nights every one wanted off; I thought it would make me a better employee. It did, but it also made me much more mature than I would like sometimes.

Balance for Spring Time

balance (bal uhns): finding a mental, physical, and concrete state of equilibrium.
One of the biggest struggles I am constantly in touch with is my scheduling. Things typically get chaotic during the Spring anyways; however, this year my sense of balance is totally getting thrown out of whack. Usually I am able to adjust and fluctuate my life in order to keep everything flowing.  Lately, the list just keeps on adding up. My balance is not working well this Spring. I know I shouldn't complain because everyone is in the same boat. With our Winter taking up such a great percentage of the year, all of the scheduling has been thrown off. I am just feeling behind lately. Physically, I am not behind or struggling; it just feels like everything I am involved in are going down hill. I think our state as a whole just needs some sunshine rays. The lack of vitamin c in the atmosphere around here is seriously taking a toll on our community. I don't want to stereotype, but it seems like we are just on a low end of the rainbow. We see the gold coins at the other side, just cannot get there.
I don't mean to be a complete downer, but I think this emotion is around all of us this season. With Spring life getting put on hold, I feel like we are all lacking the strive to continue as we usually would. I know with sports getting postponed, cancelled, and rescheduled I just get sad. I am not a full time athletic participant; however, I am still involved with these activities. I am so ready for the sunshine to be full on. I don't have any advice for keeping positive attitudes during this time. Nevertheless, this is all out of our control. The predicament before us is nothing we can change. I hope we can all find a way to fit it all in. I understand with work, school, and sports it is hard to find an equilibrium to function when we are not feeling as we typically would.
I know personally, I am ready for summer and sports to be in full swing. It could definitely be my senior-i-tis kicking in. With graduation right around the corner, I am quite ready to begin again. Still, I am lacking the balance in my life. Everything has been pushed into the month of May, so I am getting very overwhelmed with the situation. But, I am still sticking to the idea that everyone is feeling ready for some rays. Hopefully, Mother Nature will grant this to us within the next couple of weeks.

Who is to say when it is too much?

We all have seen the crime shows on television. CSI, Snapped, Forensic Files, Bones, and Killer Couples  are all aired on local cable channels. These shows are wonderful thrillers! But they also are an inside look to a criminal's mind. I am a huge follower of any sort of forensics. I love the science behind it, so these types of shows are typically at the top of my queue. However, I do think the media releases an excessive amount of information to the general public.
The strategies lab workers use and the weapons used is quite revealing. I understand some is public knowledge and it is illegal to not give accurate information, but i think this should be double checked before the shows air. Not saying I am going to go out and commit a crime, but if I was ever planning it, I could easily figure out how. By studying a wide variety of real life crimes and made up television shows, I do believe I could get away with whatever type of crime I desired. These types of shows tell the public what the police and different investigators are looking for at a crime. They also tell you what types of materials to wear that are "bulletproof" to their investigations.
By being so interested I this type of field I love to be able to get all the details. Like a sponge, I soak up the information and always dig into what I watch. But, that also means any average person can also look into these small facts or details. For me, this is great; however, I think for airing on television, it is too much. Anyone who is maybe thinking of committing a crime could easily do their research and be good to go.
As much as it hurts me to say, our system has loopholes. By showing such information on cable channels, I think we are allowing our criminals to find  and use them to their benefit. Maybe I am wrong and just over analyzing the whole situation, but after the Boston bombing I think this is something our government should take into serious consideration.

Easter Sermon or Political Lesson

I am going to try and be as non-political and non-religious as possible. However, part of our assignment with these blogs is to share about something that we have emotions towards. Well here is what has been on my mind: the whole debate over gay marriages or civil unions. I am not going to sit here and pound any beliefs into anyone's head. I am just simply stating how I feel and other things that have domino'ed because of it...

          Easter Sunday my mom thought it would be a great idea to attend church as an extended family. I loved the idea and naturally so did all the cousins. However, the early start to the sunrise service did not bother me a bit after I really started to listen in on the sermon. I was expecting to hear the same story we get to experience every year. Not that it is a bad story! Since that is the reason for the whole Easter celebration I find it beneficial to get a quick reminder, and that is what I had expected to hear about. I couldn't have been more wrong! The sermon had nothing to do with Easter at all, but more of a biblical vision towards gay marriage? I was appalled. Of all things we could have a sermon on, this was what was decided upon. Interesting. I am not going to preach about this because I do feel that every person has their own beliefs and I do not want to offend anyone. I am still just confused and shocked towards why this subject is being brought up on the extremely important Christian holiday?

This event took me by surprise and totally keeps me questioning. I wonder why the pastor chose this particular week to dig into this topic. Maybe he wanted to leave an impression, or thought he could really connect to people's lives away from church? In all honesty I am still unsure. If anything, I have to congratulate him because he definitely had a memorable topic and sermon. Still though, I do not totally agree or disagree with what he had to say. I am just sharing this experience and trying to better understand the whole situation.

After it all, I still do not know how I feel about the political aspect of this whole debate. However, my eyes have been opened to a new side of the story and I feel I will one day be better able to chose a side based on this experience. I know how I personally stand on this subject, but I feel that small-town North Dakota doesn't have much of an opinion as other areas where acts like this are more common. Yet, I do not know if a church is the place to discuss such matters, but this is just my take on the situation. My vision may be slightly clouded from my worldly experiences, but that is why everyone is entitled to their own beliefs.

The Operation that Changed Me

Literature poses no interest to me. The thought of dissecting a story makes my whole body cringe. Throughout all of my English classes, we have done plenty of surgeries to the major works. Shakespeare, Mark Twain, and Robert Frost’s pieces all have been read and torn apart with worksheets and discussion periods. It is fair to say I tried to be interested. However; my interest has gone farther down hill with every year that passes, until we dug into Hills Like White Elephants…

Beginning this piece my enthusiasm was at an all time low. I could not bear the thought of another major operation. We start by discussing what we know with the class about our next patient, Hemingway’s piece. Then we slowly cut away layer by layer and page by page. We discuss treatment options and different ways the story could be interpreted. Finally, we each make our own recommendation to the patient about our thoughts and understandings. Together, we offer a cure and explanation. The process is monotonous and boring. However, something different about this patient struck my attention. No background story was given, nor the intention to provide such information. To understand this tricky patient we had to dig deep into the space between the lines.

By asking my fellow surgeons how to interpret the work, we found the meaning and unlocked the mystery. None of us could have done it alone. The key was to read like a professor and look at the objects each word could represent. Incredible. I am still in a state of disbelief from this whole whirlwind. It did not start to sink in until I was sitting at church and our pastor started to describe the hidden messages in the scriptures. Everything was clearing up. The foggy lies I had believed about Literature were no more.

I am now very interested in dissecting any more patients possible. It is amazing to me what the author can say, without using the words. I hope to become this excited every time a new patient is presented before me. My excitement for this career has skyrocket from one author’s will to take a risk. I am so grateful for the opportunity to understand this piece and journey farther into many more.

Keeping Traditions Alive

Kootchen? No wait. Kuchen. Yes the German dessert. I must be a tad bit dyslexic because for the majority of my life I have been pronouncing it wrong, but that is beside the point. I have tried this dish numerous different times but my family has never made it homemade. My mom and I were out for our Sunday stroll to Bronson's when we discovered this wonderful treat for sale. Quite thrilled with the find, we immediately purchased the kuchen and took it home for the taste test. Sadly, it was not as good as I remembered, so my amusement level quickly dropped. Our only hope is now to attempt baking our own.
Trying recipe after recipe on the internet also proved to be a fail. We were seriously struggling with the consistency and our flavor was a little too salty. So that brought us to the last resort: calling the 90 year old full-blooded German neighbor and beg her to teach us. Reluctantly, she accepted and we made an afternoon out of the deal. Not knowing what to expect, my mom and I patiently watched the clock until it was time for Ester to arrive. Three o'clock comes and not a moment later the door bell is ringing. My emotions run wild hoping we are successful with this final attempt to make the delicious dessert.
By five thirty it has turned into quite the productive day. We completed two peach kuchen, two strawberry rhubarb kuchen, three cottage cheese kuchen, and one pan of caramel rolls. It was not an easy day. Ester was quite particular with her recipe and the order in which everything must happen; however, her knowledge of the craft was remarkable. I am so thrilled we spent the day baking. I now have the memories and brains to replicate the recipe and pass it on to the next generation as well as share it with my family now.
I never really thought not knowing how to bake kuchen could be detrimental, but to put it in perspective, a whole part of our history could have easily just been erased. Without Ester's help my mom and I would never have tried to create kuchen again. It is extremely sad neither one of us ever took the time to learn how before. I am very grateful for this experience. It has shown me how important a simple recipe can become with time and age.

Senior Stresses : /

Every person has different things that make them stressed: school, jobs, friends, or even family. However, I think there comes a point in everyone's lives where they get overwhelmed with it all. Senior year of high school. This is not a huge monumental deal to some adults who have already been through it, but at the time I think it would be safe to bet that every senior has a whole new view of a "stressful situation."
Not only do we manage the daily balance of life, but then added to our scale is scholarships, senior pictures, parents, graduation planning, and college. None of these things are stressful when handled individually. It is simply for the reason that they all pile on together! A busy day for me used to mean I had to go to school, work, and eventually squeeze in time for an algebra assignment. Now a hectic schedule is much more complex. I don't think that many people understand how much pressure is being placed upon high school. Older and more mature adults have a much better idea of the world and how life will work out. When thrown a fastball, the adults can easily swing and send it flying into the outfield. Personally, right now, I find myself just shying away from the batting box hoping to just get struck out so I can get back into my saftety zone. High school. The dugout.
Right now we are all at the top of the totem pole. Under teachers, we are the next best thing. When I was younger I could not be more excited for this role. Now that I am here I have a whole new outlook on the situation. I still am very excited for high school to end and to begin my college career, but all the extra stress has really taken a toll on my sleeping habits. Due dates have never been a problem for me, but scholarships seem to take on a whole new level of priority.
I am not intending to scare any one away or get the nerves jittering. I simply am saying to enjoy your time in school and don't try to just race through to graduation day! The memories that are being made around us each and every day are special, but they are usually overlooked. I wish I would've taken the time to relax and soak everything in from these past four years. Yes, senior year is going to be a big deal to anyone going through it, but like everything else in life: it is just a stage. I hope that by watching what the upperclassmen juggle on an everyday occasion people will start to realize how monumental this occasion really is. Graduation. A whole new aspect of life is just a few short months away. I by no means am ready, but I have learned that by starting college I am ending my high school. This realization has come quite suddenly recently. I hope to slow down and take things one day at a time. Soak it all in and handle the stress with a smile. It will be over all too soon...